Tricks, Strategies and tactics of perverse narcissistic found at:
http://profil-pervers-narcissique.blogspot.com/
The pervert has General lot of imagination, and it is difficult to identify, here, thousands of tricks and tactics, it has in its arsenal.
Seduction game appearances
Unlike the perverse nature, which irritates his entourage by his claims and radically negates the other, the narcissistic pervert, he manages to create a positive momentum towards him. Manipulative as anyone, he knows how to make nice.
He changes masks as required, sometimes adorned with seductive qualities of all, sometimes weak and innocent victim. He has a scrupulous concern for appearances, giving most often the image, rewarding for his ego, a perfect person, an image which hides his lack of emotion, love, sincerity and concern for anything that is not him. He is not interested in reality, everything is for his game appearances and manipulating the other. He excels to generate, amplify and to alternate in the other regrets and fears.
Concealment
The perverse acts of sight. The abuse are rarely in the spotlight, but rather committed in secret alcoves. Perverts are the professionals of the double Life and split personality.
Mimicry
They are true chameleons, able to mimic the attitudes and words of his interlocutor to arouse in him the illusion of a perfect agreement, an arrangement unique ever-s' deepen. Mimicry is also one of the techniques used by the neuro-linguistic programming.
Divide, partitioning relations
As a precaution, it will divide and partition relations, so that we can not duplicate his lies or that his victims are unlikely to join forces against him. His technique in this area ends up being brilliant.
You praise you better run
He begins by praising you. You're the best, most talented, most cultured ... No one but you do not account for him (he does not hesitate to say the same thing to several persons in succession). These accolades and these protestations of attachment allow him to better "you run" then playing on the element of surprise, and you achieve more than you do not expect the attack and he has also careful to choose precisely the time when you could least you would expect.
To promote and continuously devalue the other
The daffodils are seeking to evolve under the spotlight, choosing situations where others can admire. They want to capture the attention of their peers they believe, moreover, as mere stooges, potential victims that they will not hesitate to criticize in public, often insidiously.
The principle of authority
He uses his power of seduction, his talents as an actor, his look of seriousness, all facets of his "personalities "To win. He likes to stop any discussion by any definitive sentence, using the principle of authority: "I'm sick! "Or" Do you realize what you ask me! "" I can not discuss with you the moment you see I'm caught. "
Induction (suggesting the idea to another)
The great strength of perverse narcissism is the art of induction.
It applies to cause others feelings, reactions, actions, or, conversely, to inhibit them. It works somewhat like a magician evil, a hypnotist abusive, using successively injunctions and seduction. Avoiding to express to another what he thinks, to enlighten him about his intentions, he proceeds by reference, without ever compromising. To make a trap, it arouses in the other an interest in what will be the subject of deception, he'll make it as attractive as possible without ever speaking out. Spreading knowledge, knowledge, certainty, it will push the other to want to know more, to covet the object in question and to express his desire to take ownership.
It proceeds in the same manner if it intends to deny a priori any thing. The other, who had no idea of asking anything, will feel trapped against the foot without knowing exactly why: he then promise never to ask something, he doubted his own honesty, or even feel suspect, unconsciously falling into the game of perverse narcissistic. The latter, to hold sway over its "victim" will match willing his speech and a moralistic message will appear as a being "pure and noble", forcing the other is not to be pushed to identify to this morality, whether in acceptance or rejection of the thing suggested.
Making speak perverse narcissistic, Alberto Eiguer wrote: "It would have you act so that there remains no doubt that you are me ... and whatever you do, say or feel, confirm that I am the only me, the greatest and that even at the cost of your own disqualification. " Here we touch the foundation of the induction narcissistic.
contradictions or apparent contradictions
One day, complacent, satisfied and proud of his coup, the perverse narcissist may even brag to others that he provides his own thoughts, its success, the other had won, since he "had only to not be so stupid and so naive."
But even when the contradictions of his behavior then burst sowing doubts about his personality, his intentions or his sincerity, he managed to catch the most often mistakes and restore the good image of himself that he has left crack due to lack of caution. He then stated, for example, he joked, and he sought only to test his interlocutor.
Most of the time we forgive him anyway because he knows how to be friendly, especially because he was always an explanation for suddenly contradictory behavior. The error "disastrous" will be placed on the account of a momentary weakness, fatigue, a burnout, illness. Finally, we will say that anyone "perfect" is fallible.
"The narcissistic pervert, [...] loves controversy. It is capable of supporting a point of view one day and defend the ideas reverse the next day, just to bounce the discussion or deliberately to shock. "(Marie-France Hirogoyen, bullying, page 108)
Job Posts paradoxical
The pervert narcissist revels in ambiguity. Posts by paradoxical, double, obscure, it blocks the communication and place the victim unable to provide appropriate responses, since she can not understand the situation. She runs out to find solutions that are by definition unsuitable and rejected by the pervert it will arouse criticism and blame. Completely bewildered, she will sink into anxiety or depression (see Marie-France Hirigoyen, "Mobbing", "Communication perverse ', p. 111).
Slander and innuendo
" Slander, slander, there will always be something! "(Beaumarchais).
The narcissistic pervert has the talent to defame without seeming to touch it, cautiously, giving the appearance of objectivity and seriousness, as if he was merely reporting the words that are not his. Often it is not clear of accusation, but merely veiled allusions, insidious. Eventually, he managed to sow doubt, without ever having uttered a sentence that could be caught by a charge of defamation.
It will use the power of repetition and will not stop seeding doubt on the honesty of the intentions of the enemy that wants to kill based on the human tendency to believe that "there is no smoke without fire."
False modesty
When using the technique of induction (see above), he presents himself willingly as a modest person, not daring to propose solutions or object his deception (bait), the object he wants to submit to the lust of another.
Like a cunning peasant, he is sometimes able to masquerade as stupid and naive, preaching the false for the true knowledge. A great way to learn the psychological warfare to the nose of a person too full of certainties.
Confusion of boundaries between self and other
The narcissistic pervert does no boundaries between self and other. It incorporates the qualities of another, are attributed to overcome the weaknesses of his true personality and make themselves look great. These qualities he takes, he denies their true owner, it is an integral part of its strategy of seduction. "Seduction is evil in using the protective instincts of the other. This deception is narcissistic: to seek in another the sole object of his fascination, that kind of self image. Seduction by one-way, the perverse narcissist seeks to enchant without getting caught. For J. Baudrillard, seduction conjure reality and manipulates appearances. It is not energy, it is of the order of signs and rituals and their evil purposes. Narcissistic seduction confuses, erases the boundaries of what is self and what is next. It is not in the register of the alienation - as in love as idealization, to maintain the passion, we refuse to see the faults or failures of others - but in the register of incorporation in order to destroy. The presence of the other is experienced as a threat, not as a complement. "(Marie-France Hirigoyen, bullying, p. 94).
Using false or credible truths huge
perverse communication is with this strategy. She first made false truths. Thereafter, in open conflict, it makes a clear appeal, without shame, lies the roughest.
"Whatever anyone says, the wicked always find a way to be right, especially since the victim is already destabilized and feels instead of the aggressor, no pleasure in the controversy. The disorder induced in the victim is a consequence of the persistent confusion between truth and falsehood. Lying in narcissistic pervert becomes direct that during the phase of destruction, as we will see in the next chapter. Then scorn a lie obviously. It is first and foremost a lie convinced that satisfies the other. Regardless of the enormity of the lie, the perverse and clings finally convinced the other. Truth or falsehood, it does not matter for the wicked: who is this is true what they say in the moment. These falsifications of truth are sometimes very close to a delusional construction. Any message that is not explicitly stated, although it transpires, is not to be taken into account by the speaker. Since there is no objective evidence, it does not exist. The lie is simply a need to ignore what goes against its interest narcissistic. Thus we see the wicked surround their story of a great mystery that leads to a belief in each other and nothing has been said to show no hiding that. "(Marie-France Hirigoyen, bullying, page 94)
He uses great detail to turn off the vigilance of his relatives. "The bigger the lie is bigger, we want to believe. "
themselves as victims
During separations, the wicked arise abandoned victims, giving them the best role and allows them to attract another partner, comforter.
can pretend to be weak, for the "lost dog without a collar, take mine hangdog, sad eyes, which will then want to just look after women Nursery, dedicated, those with a vocation of woman patroness, they exist only by the dedication to others, those who often become their future victim. This is to better fall into his nets
It moreover is an incredible talent for impersonating a victim. As an incredible talent for pretending to be ill or irresponsible or benefit from an illness (real or imaginary), accident, use or abuse of a real disability etc..
Creating a relationship of dependency
The other exists only insofar as it remains in the position assigned to double. This is to annihilate, to deny any difference. The attacker establishes the relationship of influence for his own benefit and against the interests of another. "The relationship with the other located in the register of addiction, dependence that is attributed to the victim, but the perverse plans [the other]. Whenever the perverse narcissist consciously expresses dependency needs, he arranged for one can not satisfy: either demand exceeds the capacity of other perverse and the opportunity to point his impotence [that his victim], or the request is made at a time when we can not respond. It seeks the dismissal because it reassuring to see that life is for him exactly as he had always known she was "(Marie-France Hirigoyen," Mobbing ", page 115).
Inhibit critical thinking of the victim
At the right phase, the tactics of evil is essentially narcissistic to inhibit critical thinking of his victim. In the next phase, it causes in her feelings, actions, reactions, mechanisms by injunction or induction. "If one has enough defenses to play perverse game of one-upmanship, he put up a fight that evil will not end until the surrender at least perverse both. The pervert tries to push his victim to act against him (and to act in a perverse way) and then denounce it as "bad." What matters is that the victim appears to be responsible for what happens to him. " (Marie-France Hirigoyen, "Mobbing", page 122).
The hardest thing for the victim is not to get into the game, especially games artificial conflicts, caused by the perverse.
perverse tactics of bullying
Isolate someone refuse any communication, not to transmit instructions, multiply the bullying does not work or give him a humiliating job, however, give too much work or work well beyond his skills etc. ... scenarios of bullying, hazing or mobbing, these are the tactics of bullying, which can be broken down to infinity.
According to the most common definition "Bullying is a set of pipes and practices that are characterized by the systematic, duration and repetition of attacks on the person or personality, by all means related to labor relations, organization, its content, its conditions, its tools, diverting them from their goal, thereby inducing consciously or unconsciously, intense suffering to harm, remove, or destroy. It can take place between supervisors and subordinates, in descending or ascending, but also between colleagues, laterally.
ultimate Tactics (about to be confused)
If a runaway may lead the perverse narcissistic to commit acts of violence, he carefully avoids to be "packaged" by Police and Justice. To this, he has mastered the art of "packaging" of the facts in the speech. To paraphrase Philinte in "Le Misanthrope": "Always, in compelling terms, his denials are saying." Cornered, he can pretend to be crazy, irresponsible for his actions, because we know that fools can all afford (Article 122-1 of the new penal code).
Selfishness, aggressive defense of their interests
Charity begins with oneself. He knows and fiercely defend its interests and it always has a very clear vision. Its sole objective is to obtain a benefit for himself. He tries to enjoy every moment of every opportunity, every situation, all those interviewed - these people are systematically manipulated as possible - to learn as much as possible advantage for him. His philosophy is always utilitarian. And he knows those whose household she needs, her husband, a working relationship ... because even the most antisocial be a need for affection, companionship, presence (even if only to be admired) and therefore at times, be gentle with her partner.
It is "courageous" when he is sure to win, and that this will in the direction of strengthening its gratifying narcissistic image. Otherwise, he shows extreme caution and refrain from courage. In the sinking of the Titanic, it will be the first to pass, as the most fallacious pretexts before women and children in the lifeboat. The notion of honor or moral elegance is inaccessible.
Lack of moral values
Their lack of state of mind, remorse or a lack of consciousness can be so extreme that at the beginning of their relationship with them, their victims can not believe it. This lack of scruple the rout, astounded or stunned.
In fact, they have a total disregard for any laws or moral coercion. Their morality is most often that of morality or the law of the strongest and / or the most cunning, the most devious. It is most often in their behavior, the trivialization of evil, a certain 'relativity' of morality, as part of an operational nihilism, which may even be militant. They have respect for people stronger than them, having more power and wealth or more combative than them. Be humane, sensitivity is often seen by them as expressing a form of naivety or sentimentality that has no place. Only results matter, "the end justifies the means."
The narcissistic pervert devoid of respect for others, he regards as useful objects to its needs for power, authority or serving its interests. He makes promises he will not, knowing that "promises only bind those who believe." He does not hesitate to steal money, jewelry, clothes to her partner or friends without feeling any shame. Caught in the act, he is able to deny with unusual aplomb ...
Lack of empathy
The perverse narcissists are incapable of loving others. The vast majority, they have no "humanity", no human feeling, no conscience, no affect. They are cold and spreadsheet, totally indifferent to the suffering of others.
But while, in most cases, incapable of human feelings, they simulate being completely filled, apparently, good human feelings and a sincere empathy for others.
The perverts can be passionate about a person, business or idea, but these outbreaks are still very superficial. They are often empty of interest, except for their immediate interest. They ignore the true feelings, especially feelings of sadness or grief (for others). The disappointments cause either anger or resentment with a desire for revenge. This explains the destructive rage that seizes them during separations. When a pervert perceives a narcissistic injury (loss, rejection), he feels a desire to get unlimited revenge. It's not as angry in an individual, a transient response and messy, it's a grudge inflexible and implacable that the pervert applies all its strengths and reasoning skills. And then it will cease to satisfy that his plan of revenge.
perverse seduction does not affect, because the very principle of operation is to avoid any adverse affect. The perverse, as the paranoid, keep an emotional distance enough to never really commit. The effectiveness of their attacks is that the victim or the outside observer can not imagine it can be so devoid of care or compassion for the suffering of others.
Any sexual dysfunctions or "evil "Land could be the consequences of this lack of feeling and empathy for others. It is possible that the lack of affect prevents feel the full moral boundaries between what is permitted or prohibited in society. But this is only a hypothesis.
Egocentrism
Like all narcissists, while they are owed. They allow no questioning and no blame Their law is their desire, immediate, instant. Everything must yield to them always. It's as if they had remained, in adulthood, a spoiled child. Minor ailments at home takes serious proportions, as if it was a major disease, then having to inspire compassion, so the entourage.
Here are some examples of the thinking of perverse narcissistic
· "I'm awesome, I'm strong, I am above others, above the basket." · "The others can not not love me." · "I'll use the other to get what I want, what I right." · "I will arrange for my victim to feel guilty so that she does not want me and she has no desire to take its independence. " · "Why should I have a problem of conscience, it's still not my fault if she is so stupid or naive. I'm not here for nothing if it is so naive. " · "My victim thank me for what I do for her, which is normal because it's true, but for me it would be nothing, it's an honor that I do." · "When there comes a problem - even if others who have this problem - I sorry for me, not for others" (this argument is usually unconscious).
mythomania
The perverse narcissistic pathological liar is often a component. It is linked to its propensity to lie - an operational component, conscious, easier to achieve his ends - and a need to see better than he is in reality. He likes to lie to himself about himself. Denial (of his faults, on the other) allows him to "love" (and still love each other more).
Like any pathological liar, he lies often because they fear the negative reaction of the entourage (of devaluation, for example) would result from the admission of reality and his lie. His mythomania tends then self-sustaining, without end, and even strengthen over time. It lies to itself about its true value, what it really is. He knows that partially lies to himself, but at the same time it minimizes his own lie about himself. At times, he ended up believing his lie, to others it is aware of his lie. It is the ambivalence of the pathology pathological liar.
Lie
The narcissistic pervert is always inside, in the shoes of another, it is never sincere, always a liar. It may as well tell the truth than lie with aplomb, in a way hardliner (as a "tooth puller"). Most often, it conducts sensitive falsification of truth, we can not really be called a lie, and even fewer buildings delusional. Mix the lie, the sincerity and frankness - that is, for one, very unsettling - part of his game
Behind this attitude lies hardliner, who sometimes appears suicidal, hides, most often, an attitude of defiance to social order, a way of showing he is still the most strong and he still controls the situation ... Even when it should, it will not recognize anything, nor his lies or his faults, even in crucial moments during a police interrogation or trial of Assizes. By
cons it may eventually recognize a lie if the minor does not have much to lose. But even the confession of this little lie will always be difficult to obtain from it.
hatred and aggression
The narcissistic pervert often needs to exist to hate and is one of the reasons he is never satisfied with anything (the other, objects ...). Hate can be in him a very powerful engine of its actions and behavior. Failing to get jealous and wholeness or happiness that observed in the other, he comes to hate and destroy what he loves and looking intently. Being unable to love, he tries to destroy, by cynicism, the simplicity of all natural and healthy relationship.
Because of their personal history, the wicked are often unable to achieve. They then watch with envy what others have to realize they. And they try to destroy the they see happiness from them. Prisoners of their own character and image, often artificial, they present to society - which imposes tremendous constraints permanent - they then attempt to destroy the freedom of others and impose constraints decided by them. There, at home, aggressive mentality of envy, lust, hate irritation at the sight of happiness, benefit of others.
To accept and affirm the triumph of evil narcissistic need someone else to destroy it, while enjoying his suffering. This perception, of what they believe does not possess, is subjective, it may even be delusional. This sense of inferiority vis-à-vis the person envied and hated pushes them to seek to possess what is coveted. To fill the gap that separates them from the object of their lust, they just need to humiliate, to degrade.
They envy the success of others, which makes them face their own sense of failure, always repressed, because they are not happier other than they are themselves. For them, nothing ever goes. They impose on others their vision of the world pejorative or negative and chronic dissatisfaction about life. They seek, often to demonstrate that the world is bad, the others are bad. Nobody really thanks to them. Attacking others is a way to avoid pain, grief, depression.
They like to wait in the shadows, hidden. Some calculate their moves or revenge for a long time in advance, sometimes over several years (for them revenge is a dish best served cold and they love to revel in it). That's why they can be formidable and unpredictable. And besides, they are most often unpredictable.
Social Integration and extraversion
The narcissistic pervert is generally appreciated at first because it seemed outgoing, friendly and attractive. Enough psychologist, he often has a knack for returning the opinion in his favor and win adherence to its ideas, even the most questionable.
A "born actor"
The narcissistic pervert is a "born actor." His lies to strength training have become second nature with him.
His palette of personalities, characters, emotions feints is amazing. The range of his game Acting is amazing, infinite, constantly renewed.
It usually gives the image of a perfectly calm, not getting worked ever.
Paranoia
In their perverse and narcissistic personality can sometimes overlap component paranoid. By dint of fooling people, the evil must be more secret and to be increasingly on guard. He says less and less. At a key moment, it may be a pathological hyper-susceptibility. He lives in a constant suspicion and extreme caution, that deeply hidden. His paranoia appears multiply his intelligence, while providing an extraordinary burst of energy fighting.
Sadism
A perverse pleasure is experienced in the vision of the suffering of others. The pervert feels extreme pleasure, vital to see the other suffer, to keep it in doubt, to enslave and humiliate him. Being incapable of true relationship, it can not establish that a record perverse destructive malignancy. Humans are no longer for him human beings, but objects of play and fun. He likes to objectify the other, and ensure that the victim can never escape, even if only to prevent him from testifying against him.
Pride and Combative
The narcissistic pervert is most often with an extreme combativeness and a remarkable ability to rebound. His grandiosity, his narcissism, his paranoia and even reinforce this combativeness.
often immensely proud, even megalomaniacal, the perverse narcissist likes to win at all costs, endless, and can not admit, just once, losing. It is ready for anything, even more blows plied to never lose. The pervert is like a spoiled child. If he does not encounter resistance, it will go even further.
Because of this strategy of endless victories he can manage to convince themselves that there is no positive moral values in the universe and he will win always do so.
Over time this trend, which may give it a momentum of success for some time, becomes an addiction. Sign of his megalomania, it strengthens the back, and take no longer able to tolerate any frustration or contradiction.
The narcissistic pervert loves to promote, it does seem more really. Any threat to the high image he has of himself makes it very nasty and aggressive. All his efforts will then revert to this flattering image he has of himself, and by whatever means, including the destruction of the disruptive person who committed the crime of lese-majeste.
It has a very high opinion of himself. The others are negligible for him - they are minions, servants, "peanuts" ... -. He hates that he makes the shadow, we could get in front of us to take the ascendancy over him, that he resists being told not. He needs to constantly belittle others, by a small pike here and there (so and so has no personality, so and so is selfish, so and so is ungrateful, stingy so and so is ...).
Narcissism Criminal
term invented by Daniel Settelen, psychiatrist, and Denis Toutenu, psychiatrist, in their book "The Case Romand: Narcissism criminal," devoted to the case of Jean- Claude Romand, who described the personality of the narcissistic pervert when he goes to the crime.
"Spirit petty"
We are sometimes surprised discover, behind his appearance generous, bright, very intelligent, a petty mind, terribly jealous, spiteful, vindictive, an undeniable moral smallness. Its aims were "noble" and "generous" proved so much less noble than they seemed at first. Indeed, it seems (and this is what appears in the analysis) love revenge quietly, without witnesses, without the victim realizing it and savor it most often solitary in his vengeance. And this is one reason why his conduct may seem sometimes secret, indecipherable or confusing.
If his victim had survived and made it an affront, he can "play" for example, to send him a birthday letter incomprehensible, at a time away from the anniversary date, this action is incongruous in his view a "joke", which will be the only one to laugh or enjoy.
This kind of behavior sometimes appears to be an early indicator of psychosis or dementia praecox, in any case of a real form of mental illness, but not necessarily.
The narcissistic pervert Are they crazy?
According to Marie-France Hirigoyen, "The perverse narcissists are considered without psychotic symptoms, which find their balance by relieving pain on another that they feel no internal contradictions and they refuse to perceive. They "do not express" to hurt, they hurt because they do not know how else to exist. They themselves have been injured as a child and trying to keep alive as well. This transfer of pain allows them to develop at the expense of others. "(" Bullying "on page 126).
In general, we do not consider them crazy, because they are able to control and calculate their actions. They are not irresponsible especially under criminal law. However the issue is not resolved.
Psychologists are possibly in narcissism, when it is excessive, a "disease, an addiction (the" patient "is well aware of his illness, but minimizes it, can not change or do not seek to change) and not a folly.
In criminal cases, the perverse narcissists do not generally benefit from an altered or diminished responsibility, as has seen in the trial of Jean-Claude Romand: The pervert knows the law and is aware of what it does (simply, it is still a challenge, for fun, for the thrill). So it remains responsible for his choice (in any case, it appears to be criminally liable).
But the perverse narcissist himself is often seen as "irresponsible" for his actions. This recalls the litany of "it's not my fault, and it's not my fault ..." the Vicomte de Valmont, Madame de Tourvel announcing that he will break her in the novel "Les Liaisons Dangereuses" Pierre Choderlos de Laclos. (Letter CXLI)
psychogenesis and childhood
Often the perverse narcissist is someone who has never been recognized in his own personality, which has suffered significant narcissistic investment from his parents and has been forced to build a set of figures (toys), to give the illusion to exist and be conformed to the image desired by narcissistic parents.
The pathology of the child was found mediated by the narcissistic requirements of his or her family and school. Once adult, the narcissist has maintained its momentum, notary, while in suffering, the blindness of his entourage.
Some emotional deprivation in childhood can prevent it, as adults, to love others.
It also may have suffered during his childhood narcissistic injury, more or less important. These wounds will urge him to meet constantly, a huge desire for recognition or revenge. He then has a huge need to be loved, recognized, overstated, overstated compared to what it really is.
may be overprotected child, pampered, the youngest (in the example of the young Abdullah, Tintin albums), whose status he thoroughly enjoyed, one of those children who enjoy constantly blinding her parents about her true nature (in posing the little patient sufferer, the victim of imaginary teachers brother or sister). In particular, the only child, as expected, developed later ... so that pampers even more. Or just one of those spoiled children who have not learned to resist their desires and frustrations.
Indeed, the perverse narcissist is always bitter, frustrated and accuses the other systematically. At the slightest narcissistic injury, at least frustration he turns into hatred and proceeded to act.
From childhood, these perverts are often endowed with an intelligence above average or even dangerous, Machiavellian, they can already develop strategies traps or very subtle. Early, they can already abusing their parents and friends. The child, more intelligent, more psychologist than parents imagine, literally engulfs the mother or father (a mother or a father or an accomplice who does not suspect anything) in a symbiotic relationship that literally prevents parents to have sufficient perspective.
His personal biography (history) is important to her because she has, more than anything, his philosophy of life and its current behavior.
The pervert's relationship-executioner and his victim
The perverse logic ignores the respect of others. Others do not, it is not understood, it is merely useful. The perverse energy needs of certain people to fill the void of his own existence. But for that he must submit.
"A perverse narcissist can be built in satiating its destructive impulses. "(Marie-France Hirigoyen," The Bullying "on page 125). The narcissistic pervert and all the fears of loneliness that people can not submit it. He needs to always have someone with him, a victim, he will use to develop, to divert its own nothingness, his own reality inglorious dishonorable. It will therefore be trying to capture the qualities of the victim or to destroy it by transferring its own flaws (selfishness, greed, lies ...). The pervert is a predator.
What changes to the perverse narcissist?
The pervert narcissistic can rectify its "vacuum" in its lack of concern for others, stop projecting to other personality who is not his?
In reality it is extremely rare that it exchange or willing to change their attitudes or values. Because the gains that have earned this attitude are often very important and very rewarding for him (admiration, fame, power ...). We can not change a perverse narcissist with a "rational discourse" as the perpetual quest for power is a powerful engine and an endless source of pleasure, a real hard drug.
For it can change, it would have to undergo severe shock and very important events that could, for example, destabilize the highest conception he has of himself, and especially to convince that over time the effectiveness of its lies and its tactics has waned. Only thus can we hope to see, perhaps, one day (?), Evolve favorably. In fact it almost never happens.
But raising hopes that other people, often blind, such a change, the perverse narcissist enhances its power. By giving its victims the impression sincere attempt to make amends, it dulls their mistrust and makes her more easily fooled.
In fact any effort to improve personal seemed laughable if not ridiculous, and he feared above all to have everything to lose - his strength, his power, the regard for it - with the additional risk of being trick to turn.
The narcissistic pervert does not consider himself sick
The problem is that the perverse narcissistic refusing to consider it a problem, therapies have no effect on them.
If it agrees to submit to them (so you can say he did "all effort), it will quickly consider as null and incompetent therapist and therapy as totally useless. Perhaps he also very afraid to find some unpleasant truths, to himself (the fact that it is not so beautiful that he imagined).
For most witnesses of their strange behavior, it is very difficult to understand the perverse narcissistic because the psychiatric literature is described, in most cases, the mechanism but not their underlying motivations (like that is always shut herself in a lie, or the fact of a constantly bounce lie to another). It only makes guesses ...
destroy and deny the other
This time, they can not do without, not even an alter ego respected, which would exist only a reflection of them themselves. Hence the feeling of victims being denied their individuality and their qualities.
The perverse narcissist constantly seeks to improve the image he has of himself. It is therefore necessary to find a being who admire him and refers to himself a prestigious image. But, refusing to admit this need to feel valued forever, it denies its commitment to tenure that need such induced stooges that will continually destroy.
The pervert can not establish a relationship based on symmetry, it must dominate the other and make it impossible to react and stop this fight. It is for this reason that there is justifiable to speak of a real assault on another, and not a perverse game-accomplice. There is no negotiation possible with the wicked, everything is imposed from the outset, the victim who was removed the power to say no and that, even if she tried to use to turn perverse defenses, could never attain virtuosity "in evil" of his executioner.
To achieve the destruction of its victim, the wicked often proceeds as follows: - He approaches his victim by displaying some "heat" outside. - It insinuates itself more in the life of that person. - He vampirizes by direct means (reproaches, insults, humiliation ...) or indirect. - Finally, the victim falls into depression, melancholy, addictive behaviors, or self-harm. She is so totally to his thank you or destroyed.
The pervert between in connection with each other to seduce him. Once the fish is "rail", he just keeps "hanging" until he needs it. He plays with his victim to the cat and mouse, making velvet paw to better keep it, then leaving her claws when she tries to escape.
It may take years before they realize the destruction process in place. In the beginning it undergoes only bullying, but full sentences innocuous innuendo offensive, demeaning or violent. It's the constant repetition of these attacks makes little obvious aggression. And it takes one incident to trigger the crisis causes the attacker to reveal his tactics or his trap.
In general, it is the awareness of the victim, and his bursts of rebellion that will lead the process of killing. For we are indeed witnessing genuine psychic killing in which the abuser does not hesitate to employ all means to achieve his goal: to destroy its prey. In fact any questioning of the dominance of evil on the victim can only result in him a reaction of destructive fury.
The pervert can seek to extinguish any such libido suddenly refusing sex with her partner, while the guilt for that. It seeks thereby to extinguish, in his victim, any trace of life, including any desire to react.
It strives to blame his prey. Not supporting a single instant, to be wrong, he refuses all criticism, all open and constructive discussion with the victim. He blatantly did not hesitate to denigrate, to insult him as much as possible without witnesses. Otherwise it proceeds more subtly hints, just as destructive, but invisible to the unwary. The victim, it gives a lot, but it is never enough. Are never happy, always takes the perverse narcissistic the position of the victim of a frustration he makes his own victim responsible.
He devours his victim in the belief that she is applying for hardship. He refuses to see or acknowledge the difficulties it creates in the relationship, because this would lead to negative perceptions of his own image. He blames his partner for that little one to show kindness or apply to play a remedial role. But if he refuses to accept the imaginary wrongs that are unfairly charged, he is immediately accused of being hostile and rejecting.
It does not measure the same ell his behavior, always impeccable in his view and that of others, always at fault. He never sees the disparity between the few that "giving" and what it receives. It's always the other, and never him, who shows ingratitude and meanness.
The very existence of the victim may be, for the perverse, a standing reproach his perversity, and it became, unwittingly, that will focus on his hatred. The pervert would also take all "right wrongs", to all those who have sought to make him change and he will continually bring down the (morally, socially) because they have committed the crime, unpardonable in his eyes, to intrude into his system of "permanent narcissistic reinforcement.
Ownership qualities of the other
More than material goods, these are moral qualities, far more difficult to steal, that seeks to capture the perverse joy of live, sensitivity, communication skills, creativity, musical talent and literary ... Thus, when the partner makes an idea, the pervert catches and made it his own. If it was not literally blinded Hate it could, in an exchange relationship, learn how to acquire some of these qualities he wanted. But that would require a modesty that by definition it does not. The narcissistic pervert also seek to capture the passions of the other insofar as they are passionate about the other or, more accurately, they are interested in the other because the other holds something that could excite . We see them as having strokes heart, then release and brutal "final." The entourage then understand how badly a person can be brought to bare one day and then demolished the next day.
The narcissistic pervert feel an intense desire to respect those that seem to have the things they do not or simply take pleasure in their lives. This desire for ownership can be social as to attract a partner who will introduce into an environment they envy, upper middle, middle ... The intellectual or artistic benefit they expect is to have a stooge who enable them to gain power. Then they will address this tenure, trying to destroy her self esteem and confidence, to increase their eyes to their own value.
The profile of victims
They have qualities that the perverse precisely covets: talented and always looking to give the best of themselves, they are attractive. Lively and outgoing, they love to talk about their achievements and express their joy. Being deeply generous, they can not bring themselves to admit the evil of their tormentor, and apply it to find excuses. Always ready to feel responsible or even guilty, accepting criticism easily, they run out to give to an impossible perverse satisfaction.
They introjectent guilt: "Everything is my fault ! "This allows the perverse narcissistic projection outside oneself by rejecting guilt on the other:" It's his fault! (See Marie-France Hirogoyen, "Mobbing", p. 112).
The research often perverse personality maternal, loving, dedicated, because it needs to be loved, admired - even and especially if he is himself incapable of love - to have someone completely at his service. But the attraction he feels for them does not hate.
It most often takes its toll on people full of energy and love of life, for vampirize and "devitalized." It is preferable to choose honest, sincere, kind, who truly seek to console and repair, but also naive, not too critical, even fragile, so get them easier and faster to accept a dependent relationship . The victim
research often turn a strong person and reassures her charismatic, and this is precisely the image that the pervert wants to give him.
The intended victims are those who need a meaningful purpose for existence - a prison visitor, volunteer ... NGOs - who want to act for good, and like to deal with "lost dogs without collars. They easily fall under the influence of evil in which they will, often wrongly, a fragile person, a child to be protected.
The pervert lives and feeds on the hope that the victim site, or hopelessly naive, in him or something he dangled at all times by false promises. This hope for the harassed victim, is to "cure" the stalker and it is this illusion that makes it stay in the relationship and continue to suffer the attacks that destroyed it without succeeding in the "win" for both.
We are often amazed that despite the obvious evidence, victims do not leave their abuser. But is that it mixes so pride, blindness, stubbornness, cognitive dissonance, denial of reality. For admitting the reality is too painful, too unbearable, when the emotional investment in the spouse or partner has been the object took up so much space in their lives. They have too much to lose to give it up, starting with their illusions.
There is often a love home proud, fanatical and blind (or delusional), the companion or perverse child. Out of pride they will not recognize themselves as victims because they still hope to control the situation. At least that gives them the evil he believes, while it is still the real puppeteer who can draw the right strings.
For some psychoanalysts to perverse assault victims are secretly complicit in their executioner in establishing or promoting a sadomasochistic relationship, a source of enjoyment for the pervert they hope to settle for better acceptance by it. We are in a relationship psychopathology.
Some victims appear to suffer initially from a lack of confidence in itself pathological which makes them easily accept any form of submission. But most victims are not necessarily masochists: what differentiates victims of perverse masochistic is that when the price of a huge effort, they manage to separate themselves from their tormentor, they feel a huge release, because suffering as such are not interested.
Matilda Primavera.
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